The winter blahs

I have been terrible at blogging since Christmas. I have several reasons...one, that I am so tired of winter and I just feel like nothing noteworthy has happened...two, I have had some sort of illness for more than a week, ranging from a diverticulitis flare up to a sore throat. I think I just got worn down and my body just ganged up on me. Third, I always check in on Maddie before I do my computer stuff. She is more than a month past the 2 weeks they gave her to live before Christmas. She is hanging on, but all that goes on in their lives makes my life look piddly. Is that a real word? I always say piddly, but I've never written it.

We are doing fine. Tyler and Emily are getting along like peas in a pod the past few weeks...all buddy-buddy. We know it won't last, but we are enjoying it while it does. We have started a new allowance system where we put a piece of paper with $5.00 worth of quarters on it and when WE do one of their jobs before they do, WE cross of 25 cents. It is catching on. Although when my parents did this, it was with $2 worth of nickels and Becky and I soon realized that it was worth $2 to have Dad do all our work! Getting these kids to pick up after themselves is going to do me in!

Off I go to the car-riders line to wait for Tyler. I love pulling up to his toothless grin and his pants hiked up to his armpits. And he is ALWAYS talking to the principal. She probably knows way too much about our business.

Is it fear of flying?

I have flown (in an airplane) lots of times. Probably more than 20 different trips. I have never been afraid...air sick, yes, but never afraid. The first time I was truly afraid was when Brent and I took Tyler to Disney World in 2004. I was terrified. When we flew to Disney in 2006, I was fine. That was the last time I flew. Now we are planning our travels for 2008. Brent and I are taking a trip in April to celebrate our 10th anniversary(10 years, plus 10 months!) and we are also going to Honduras with the teens for mission work in May/June. I had a panic attack last night just talking about the flights with Brent. I have decided that I am not afraid of flying, or even crashing, but afraid of flying when I don't have my family all together. We left Emily in Memphis when we flew in 2004. We all went in 2006. Now we are leaving our kids again, twice. I am just so afraid that something will happen to Brent and me and the kids will be left. As morbid as it sounds, I have no fear of all of us dying together. It is the fear of someone being left behind that terrifies me. Does anyone have any advice? Besides to stop watching "Lost."

What has happened to me???

Once upon a time, I think I was a pretty normal person. Three things happened today that made me think otherwise.

#1- As Greg and Steve sang "Take you driving in my car..beep beep" I thought, "Oh, I love this song.

#2- Emily's half-eaten soggy ice cream cone at Chick-fil-A actually looked good to me, and I finished what she didn't eat.

#3- I called Stacy from Walmart full of excitement because on the Valentine aisle they had a teddy bear dressed up like Elvis. The words "He even has a guitar and dances!" came out of my mouth. (We have been looking for something like this forever for our Winterfest mascot, FYI, not just for our personal enjoyment. We are not total dorks.)

Wise words from Tyler Patterson

This week, Tyler's school has focused on a good bit on Martin Luther King, Jr. His teacher is very passionate about Civil Rights, and I really think a lot of her, so I knew Tyler would come home with some good lines.

Monday- "We read a book about a king. His birthday is this week and a white man shot him. Did you know that there used to be neighborhoods of only white people and neighborhoods of only black people? I told Mrs. Moore that was CRAZY."

Tuesday- "When Mrs Moore was a girl, she was coming out of a mall with her dad and a man rushed up to them and asked if they had heard. They said no and the man told them that Dr. King had been killed. Mrs. Moore cried and cried. And it all happened in Memphis. They turned his hotel into a museum and I think we should go Monday and see it."

Wednesday- "When Mrs. Moore was a girl, white kids would call her brother names. And do you know what he did? (Tyler balled up his fist and punched.) Those white boys got tired of that, so they stopped calling him names.

Mrs. Moore was absent today, or I am sure she would have made some sort of mark on Tyler again today. She is a good woman and I am so pleased that Tyler has her for his teacher.

Date Night

Last Friday night was Date Night at our house. Emily and Brent went out and Tyler and I went out. We went to the COOLEST place ever. It's new to Memphis...Incredible Pizza. It was so much fun. Think Chuck E. Cheese times 25. First of all, it is HUGE. 4 different themed dining rooms... a family room designed like a dining room in a house, a diner, a drive in movie room, and a gymnasium with cafeteria seating. The buffet was wild...wonderful pizza, plus a salad bar, a potato bar, a soup bar, a pasta bar, ice cream, icees, cobblers, dessert pizzas, plus someone frying fresh donuts. And it's all you can eat.

Then there is the game room. Bowling, go karts, bumper cars, and putt-putt before you even get to the video games. We had a ball. I am having MY birthday party at Incredible Pizza.

We won first place in our go-kart race!

More than you wanted to know

Happy 2008! Things have been non-stop since Christmas and this weekend was a catch-up on housework, getting down the decorations, and just being a family. The kids were banned from TV yesterday until they cleaned their rooms. Rooms were clean by suppertime tonight. Most of the time, they just looked at their rooms. The rooms were not that bad, but the kids were that lazy!

Well, I am going to address my weight goals for the year. My weight has always been an issue for me, on both ends of the spectrum. I was born a stick with pipe cleaners for arms and legs and stayed that way most of my life. As a very young child, my doctor told my mom to let me eat whenever and whatever I wanted, but to cut food off before mealtimes so I would eat meals. I had to have my jeans (Super Denims, from Penney's...way cool) ordered unhemmed so they would be long enough. I wore 6X jeans until I was way to old to be wearing 6X. My ballet clothes had to be special ordered. Kids called me bird legs. You get the idea. I am sure bad habits were formed during my childhood. My mom would buy whatever I asked for for breakfast just to get the calories in me. I would have a HUGE bowl of ice cream everyday after school. Then right before bed, I would have one of 3 things...another bowl of ice cream, a coke float, or a bowl of popcorn.

My teen years were OK. It was OK to be skinny and girls would envy you if you were skinny, but there were always rumors of eating disorders. I started doing exercises to "bulk up" in the 10th grade and I did get up to 100 pounds. Then I got sick in
11th grade, terrible mono, and lost 15 pounds. I was out of school a long time and I remember my homeroom just gasping when I walked in the room for the first time in weeks. Then, my senior year, I got a job at what is now TCBY. I put on 8 pounds in year and it was great! I felt great and it was so easy to buy clothes.

College was fine...if I did gain weight, I could exercise for a week and it would be gone. Spring Sing was my plan for getting into shape for summer.

After marriage, I gained little weight. I thought it was tons, but it really wasn't. I got pregnant in 2000 and apparently had a little hungry man inside me that wanted to eat 24/7. I would get up in the night to go to the bathroom and I couldn't go back to sleep until I ate. I ate ALL THE TIME. And I gained 45 pounds. Most of it, all but 8 pounds, came off pretty easily with a little exercise. (By the way, I HATE exercise)

In November of 2001, I had surgery to burn off some endometreosis. There was just too much and I had to do 6 months of injections to get rid of the rest. I was in menopause and I gained so much weight. It was horrible. Right after the shots were over, I got pregnant with Reese. Something was just wrong with the whole thing and I put on 10 pounds in a month and was very bloated and just odd-looking. After the miscarriage, I tried very hard, the hardest I had ever tried to lose weight. I lost a couple of pounds, but then got pregnant with Emily. I was so, so sick and couldn't gain an ounce. I had to eat as many calories as possible a day, Doctor's orders! It was quite nice, but I was already 20 pounds heavier than I was when I got pregnant with Tyler. I just threw the whole thing to the wind and let very few picures be taken of me during the 9 months. After EK was born, I was so ready to lose the weight. I did the Dr. Phil diet and exercised as much as I could. I lost 20+ pounds. It was wonderful. I let up on the diet and exercising, since I am not a fan anyway, and of all things, the weight just kept falling off. I was back where I started this whole journey...not able to find clothes to fit and being made fun of. Not what I had planned. I had a good year of being lazy and enjoying the weight loss before gaining again. And I am back at the point that I was after I had Emily. Not fat, just uncomfortable in my skin. I know I am going to change as I age. It is heredity. My great-grandmother was named Big Mama, for heaven's sake. I need to do this, though. I need to exercise regularly and I need to eat better. My goal is to lose 8 pounds by March 1. I want people to ask me about it, to keep me on my toes. I want to keep it off this time. I KNOW it is going to be so hard, especially with my total love of food. But, I have to do this.

Next post: My high cholesterol...what is the deal??? Promising to be just a thrilling a post as this one!