Processing

It is 10:00 Sunday night and I should be off to bed. I am still so tired from Honduras, but my mind cannot turn off tonight. I have gotten home and done all the laundry and cleaned the bathrooms and done Emily's dance recital and done our new church wing dedication. I have edited all 600 pictures taken over the last week and a half. All things that needed to be done before I begin processing. Processing the stark poverty and the pure joy that I have seen. Processing the bond that 42 people have after a trip like we had. Processing everything that God does to set up his will to be done. And processing that Grandmother is gone. My Grandmother Parsons died the Saturday that I was in Honduras. I knew there was a significant chance that she would while I was gone, as she has been sick for many weeks. I did get to call home on Randy's phone, and got no answer with mom and dad, their cells, or Becky. I just knew in my heart. I have struggled the past few months with the realization that her passing was not far off. She and I were so close growing up. I am going to be very candid about her, so please don't be offended if I say things that don't sound very grandmother/granddaughterly. (Is that a word? It is tonight.) My grandmother grew up in family full of older brothers in a mill village. From what I know, she did what she wanted to do and her brothers got her out of trouble lots. She had my dad when she was barely 18 and was divorced by then. She married the man I consider my grandfather while my dad was still a toddler and was married to him for 55 years. She didn't have to take a lot of responsibility most of her life and it really affected how she viewed life. She was very sheltered and her world view was very limited. I guess she was just a result of her environment. As I said before, as a child and even a teen, we were very close. As I grew older and matured into a young woman, I began to realize that I was "outgrowing" her. She did not identify with who I was and what I did and believed in. She loved me fiercly, but our relationship could be strained at times. She needed me to be the same girl I was at age 12, and I needed her to be an adult. A few months ago, I was discussing how I would feel when Grandmother died. He reminded me to remember EVERYTHING about Grandmother, not just the recent years. I began compiling a list in my mind that I need to get on paper (or screen?). So here it goes... I am calling it "Good Times With Velma."

GOOD TIMES WITH VELMA

1. Going to A&W and Kmart just the 2 of us when Becky was a baby.
2. Playing in the white gravel around the tree in her backyard.
3. The wagon that she pulled us around the block in.
4. Picking blackberries
5. When she stayed with Becky and me in Pensacola while mom and dad looked for a
house in Charleston.
6. Christmases...we would circle everything in the Service Merchandise catalog...
and get it.
7. Drinking coke for breakfast
8. Her endless supply of junk food
9. The trip we took to D.C. in 1984
10. Her INSISTING on taking us around the block in the wagon and we were WAY to old
11. Her horrible photography...no one ever had heads.
12. She bought me Guess Overalls
13. Before my first date, she took me makeup shopping
14. She would always take me shopping in high school. I would have to try everything
on and when I would come out of the dressing room, she would sigh, "Oh,
Elizabeth!" like it was the most beautiful thing she had ever seen.
15. Her reading Little Red Riding Hood before bed when we were little
16. My senior year spring break...me, Becky, Justin, Grandmother, and Granddaddy
in Gatlinburg.
17. Gatlinburg, period.
18. She took me to see Reba McEntire 2 times.
19. She took me to get my hair "made big" the summer before high school.
20. She would buy me Paul Mitchell hairspray and stick it in my purse.
21. I said one time that I liked cheesecake and it was ALWAYS in her freezer.
22. She screamed, "THERE'S MY BABY GIRL!!!!" across the campus my freshman year
at Harding.
23. She told Brent as he was about to walk down the aisle at our wedding that it
wasn't too late.


Grandmother was ALWAYS saying inappropriate things. That is an understatement. I was mortified most of my adult life by this, but it was always good for a laugh once we go out of earshot. She called the Vietnamese family across the street from them "The Vietnams." If she saw someone that was different from her...fat, dressed differently, etc., she would grab whoever's arm she was closest to and whisper, "I wish you'd look!" That got old by the time I was 18. She started preparing for her death before she was 50. She was always giving stuff away, like giving us her jewelry and sentimental gifts. And there was always a long history lesson that went along with each gift. And many times, we heard the same history lesson over and over again. She would call on random days and say, "Remember what you were doing 14 years ago?" Seriously???

I missed her funeral since I was in Honduras and I am so sad that I didn't get to see all the family and friends that were there. Her friend Edna said that she would have loved it...I am sure all the people and the gossip.

So, I guess this is my own little memorial. I will always remember Grandmother as the fruitcake that had her ears pierce with me when I was 7, ice skated with me when I was 12, always had Roller Coasters (Remember? Like spagettios?) when she cooked tamales for the adults, and would do anything for us. Apparently, at the funeral, I was elected as the next person to take Velma's place. At least I'll always have good lipstick and purses.

One more thing...the Walgreens AND CVS pharmacists were at her funeral. Classic. Drug stock will never recover.