My heart is breaking and I do not know what to do. Emily was in bed the other night and looked at me with tears in her eyes. That alone is hard enough when your "four-year-older", as she says, is genuinly moved to tears about something, not just mad that she is not getting her way. She said, "Mama, I am so lonely. I have friends at church and at school and ballet, and I have Tyler, but I need a sister. A brother is not the same as a sister." I quickly kissed her goodnight and came downstairs and cried and cried. It has been on my mind so much for several weeks and this really made it real to me. I would die if I didn't have Becky. I will never be without a friend, ever. Even if she gets mad at me for bossing her. I asked my friend Stephanie, who has a sister herself and a daughter without a sister, if it bothered her. We both started crying. I hurt so bad for Emily that she won't have that.
She brought it up again yesterday. She said, "Is it God that decides who gets another baby?" As I think about it, considering I could even carry another baby to term, wouldn't a 5 or 6 year difference be hard for sisters? And there is only a 50/50 chance it would be a sister. (My luck...I'd have triplet boys) How about adopting a toddler? What if it fell through?
Chances are, we will stay a family of four. I will probably have to play more of a sister role than my mom did with me or Becky. I have been praying about how to handle this and I know I will feel peace either way soon. If you are a girl with only brothers, let me know what helped you with this, or if it even bothered you at all.
I gotta run, Emily needs to know how to spell "No boys allowed."
Wednesday, May 7, 2008
Anyone got an extra 3 year old girl?
Posted by Elizabeth at 3:51 PM
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8 comments:
Honestly, I never knew the difference growing up. Now I would say that I have found a "sister". I think it makes your friendships different when you are older because you "need" a girly influence and someone you can talk to. In retrospect a sister would have been great but growing up I never missed it.
Send her to my house. That makes me sad. We will play with my dollhouse and I will boss her around. I do have a good example for that one, you know! Let her know that I will meddle in her affairs when the time is right, too.
My sister and I are 5 1/2 years apart and we are close so 5 or 6 years isn't too far apart...I'm just saying. What is up with these Patterson boys and only wanting 2 kids!? I'm still working on Chad, but no luck yet...
I didn't get my baby sister until I was 16 ... My best friend had 2 older sisters so I just adopted them as my own. Amy's right, you find those girls to connect to when it's not in your immediate family.
I wonder if Ainsley and Emily have been chatting about this? :-)
Ainsley has been talking to Dan and I a lot lately about wanting a brother and sister...and has even cried about it once. We are trying to explain to her that God loves all sizes of families and gives us the family he feels is best.
We also have tried to explain that she has so many friends and as she grows older, they will become like brothers and sisters to her.
You'll be in my thoughts and prayers! I wouldn't give anything for my sister but I also have two brothers. Laura and Joe never had blood brothers or sisters but they did have April and Allen next door most of their growing up life. Emily will find her "sister" at church or school and be best friends. You're a great mom. Between you and Aunt Becky, she'll grow up just fine!
I don't have a sister... but I have 2 brothers. My brothers were my "men of honor" in my wedding. They were and are 2 of my best friends. It was never a big deal. We have always been very close and still are even though we live in 3 different states.
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